Empathically speaking

Making friends & keeping them is a tough one. 

The thing about empaths is we are always picking up things. Walking into a room can be like walking into the surf on a beach or when it's really crowded like being hit by a big wave.

When it comes to making friends it is easy to connect, but hard to maintain. Why? Well because we are too aware of what people are feeling and it becomes clear pretty quick, who really likes you and who doesn't and to what degree. We may not say anything but the feeling is there and we for the most part end up playing a waiting game. Sooner or later feelings show themselves in subtle, than not so subtle ways.

This makes you do one of two things, play the ignore the gut feeling game or if it becomes way to obvious even to others you give it up and let it be whatever it is gonna be. Thats hard when you actually like the other person but they for whatever reason don't like you.

This has played a big part of my no friends in real life thing, since the only ones I could find way back when, were the ones that loved to live in dysfunction and dysfunction rubs off, talk about depressed, angry, full of jealousy and envy, feeding on yet more negative energy uckkk not pleasant or pretty.

This last month or so here at PNN has been a constant checks and balances thing. I am a lot to take for some people, because I tend to be all over the place with my thoughts and it is reflected in my pages and what I write. I also am very emotional and attach to people for various reasons based on how they make me feel which can make it hard to back away when things go sour even though I can feel it happening. 

I am often influenced and inspired by the words of others which will lead me to write about some of the same things. I like the feeling of networking and so maybe come on too strong and I often say what I feel before thinking, [hard habit to break].

My mood plays a big part in what I do as well. Hence the many changes to my pages. While some topics have remained the same, the titles have changed and as new ideas come to me I sort of run with it a lot. That also means some topics that had my interest stopped and so I let them go [idol] [smokey's spot] though I love him dearly.

I find I am hypervigilant here, on what is said, but even more so on what is not. The unsaid runs rampant here, for many reasons, mostly to avoid conflict or hurt feelings, which is par for the course. I am having major trust issues because of that, but am working on them trying to take people at their words which brings us full circle back to......

When you are just some pictures and words on a page it is easy to be miscontrued, people deciding who and what you are about, based on what you write or your comments. Assumptions are made in regards to your actions and your feelings. All of that miasma of emotion has to be waded through daily. To remain sane the empath needs to shut it down close off the feed so to speak.

just imagine how many friends, you would have if you could read their minds and know what they were thinking about, probably less than you have since no one truly thinks positively about others all the time. So imagine that one moment that they thought something bad you happened to hear n bam end of a friendship........unless you talk it out, but then having to explain how you knew would be interesting to say the least.  

I keep hoping people will get the real me and see beyond face value perceptions.  Some do, some don't, but that's how it goes. I have learned not to say anything, although I have approached some whose friendships I value and asked if things were okay, when I felt some feeling that something I did, or said may have rubbed them the wrong way. 

Making friends is difficult under normal circumstances so is keeping them, but I gotta say trying to do so while having this ability can and does suck sometimes!